Friday, December 12, 2008

Jokes

I smoke hippie lettuce constantly. I am constantly confused. I went into Kmart to look for glue but could not figure out where anything was. After five minutes I saw that the store was sorted three departments: clothes, toilet paper, and things to huff.

I rolled up to a stop sign and sat for fifteen minutes waiting for it to turn green.

I flashed Evilution on the Grandpa Peabody boulder. Every hold felt like a jug. I am not sure if it feels that easy to everyone or if it was just because I was jumaring.

I have a small penis. It is not a laughing matter. I have gone to great lengths to deal with my shortcomings. I have used pumps, pills, and clicked on a thousand internet banner ads. Finally I figured out how to make my dick six inches-I just had to fold it in half.

I just bought a time machine. It was on Craigslist for $600. It does not go into the past and it only moves into the future at regular speed. But it works. I stepped inside of it, closed my eyes, and when I emerged I had advanced 8 hours into the future. Not only that, but I felt surprisingly refreshed.

1 comment:

Dominic said...

dont forget the one about solitaire